The Lack Perception
Tena tātou katoa e te iwi mīhana… (Greetings to all the people in mission),
This month’s whakataukī (proverb) is: “Ahakoa kai tahi, tērā a roto te hahae kē rā” (Although food is shared, insides are torn up). In cultures throughout the world, the sharing of a meal is a sign of friendship and peace, of communion. This proverb observes that relationships may not always be as they appear. Sometimes deeper feelings of the heart can be hidden beneath superficial civilities. The kupu te reo (Māori word) for ill feeling or harbouring envy is (ha)hae, which means to slit, rip or tear up. Torn up inside is a graphic metaphor to describe a damaging attitude towards another who is, to some degree at least, a friend.
One of the rich advantages of our new life in Christ is that we can rely on the Holy Spirit to reveal the secret things of the heart
I was recently confronted by a friend for a flippant comment I made that poked at something they valued deeply. As Kiwis are wont to do, it was intended as banter, light-hearted knock-down humour. The recipient challenged me about whether my jibe was motivated by some deeper resentment. With some teaching on integrity fresh in my mind, I paused to wonder if there was actually something deeper that I wasn’t consciously aware of. One of the rich advantages of our new life in Christ is that we can rely on the Holy Spirit to reveal the secret things of the heart when we ask God to break out the tactical flashlight and probe deeper. Sure enough, it became rapidly apparent that my taunt was motivated by envy, and I said as much in my apology.
For some reason, whenever I read of envy in Scripture I cast it in the most mean and miserly light—someone twisted and bitter, grumbling about other peoples’ privilege, joy and success. I think a great strategy of the enemy and our sin-nature is to minimalise unrighteous behaviour so that when we read passages like Romans 1:29 and Titus 3:3 we dismiss the possibility that it might be speaking about us. “After all”, we think, “ours is just a ‘minor and restrained’ tendency”. Oh how easily we deceive ourselves.
Having identified a tendency towards envy within me, and the negative affect it can have on my relationships and ministry, I followed the trail of cause and effect. A quick trip down memory lane looking for other instances revealed the many ways envy has been a motivational factor in my life. In our Kiwi knock-down-humour culture, envy can remain well hidden, even disguised as a cultural value. It’s often leveraged as an energizing force for us to do better than others (see Ecclesiastes 4:4). I noticed that envy was evident from my earliest years, from the time I became conscious of my situation growing up in an impoverished family. My earliest recall was about 3 or 4 years old returning from a play-date wondering why I didn’t have the volume and variety of toys my neighbourhood friend had.
Community—God’s great character formation chamber.
Honestly, once you start pondering such things, a whole world of psychological issues start to surface! We all have different triggers and manifestations of relationally destructive traits, but often we do not become consciously aware of them until we are confronted with our behaviours in the context of community—God’s great character formation chamber.
Envy is harbouring resentment towards others for something they have, arising from one’s perception of lack.
Jesus pointed out something very much like this in Mark 7:14-23. It’s not food that defiles us, but that which is within us as a consequence of the Genesis 3 event. Jesus’ list of vile things is quite extensive, envy among them. Envy is harbouring resentment towards others for something they have, arising from one’s perception of lack. Jealousy is guarding what we have from being threatened. Scripture shows how both can actually be positively applied. God is a jealous God (e.g. Exodus 20:5) in the sense that the Lord will defend what is His, often with anger over an offense. Paul intentionally tried to arouse envy as an evangelism strategy to bring his people to the Lord (Romans 11:14), and noted that the gospel preached out of envy is not entirely bad (Philippians 1:15-18). Still, envy should not be normative for those of us in-Christ. There is no envy in love (1 Corinthians 13:4) nor in a life in the Spirit (Galatians 5:24-26), which are essentially the same things. On the contrary, envy is a gateway to divisiveness and hate.
Equitability is notoriously difficult to establish.
Those of us involved in ‘faith missions’, whether paid or supported, can be prone to envy every time we are exposed to what our age-cohort have acquired or are remunerated. It’s hard to refrain from comparing ourselves with those who have more. It’s easy to ignore those around us who have less. Then issues of justice arise in the mix. Those with less, condemn those with more for their privilege and perceived excess. Those with more, justify what they have. And so the merry goes round. Equitability is notoriously difficult to establish.
A large part of our participation in God’s mission in the world is to submit to a transformation process that results in us living counter to the relationally destructive patterns of this world (Romans 12:2). With regard to the topic at hand, that means living generously, celebrating others’ successes and using their desirable attributes to motivate us to develop ourselves—allowing their strengths to spur us on to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24). It means sharing, collaborating, learning, and remaining open for others to hold us accountable—humility.
I don’t care to live a life with my innards all torn up. Thank the Lord that He is faithful and just to forgive us and free us from such destructive habits. May we all continue to work on our ‘stuff’ so we can be more effective together, helping one another #stayonmission.
Whakapaingia te Atua, to tatou kaiunga ki te ao whanui (May we be blessed as God sends us into the wider world),
Jay
